One of the questions I was asked in my job interview last week had to do with how I would handle a situation when I had too much work to accomplish and the time was running out. In other words can I prioritize, make decisions on the fly and go with the flow? I laughed, and began my answer with a question............Isn't that life? Then, I talked about life experiences, the fine art of juggling and how one always needs to re-align expectations with what really happens. It's called Motherhood.
From my perspective, my interview went well. In fact it felt like night and day when I compare it to my previous foray out into the nasty land of job applications about a year and a half ago when I was shortlisted for a Community Development position with the City. Then, I overprepared so much that I was jam packed FULL of information, ideas and giddy enthusiasm that I scared the interviewers, one of which was the Deputy Chief of Police. I'm sure he doesnt scare easily, so I must've been a sight. I was wound so tight that I looked and sounded like a whirling dervish of nervous mania.
This time? I let my experience and my knowledge lead me. The position I was being interviewed for was a Teacher Counsellor........yes...............counselling teachers in 3 school districts who are having a rough go of it for whatever personal reason and facilitating professional development workshops. I was asked questions and given scenarios in the two areas I'm most comfortable discussing and doing.......counselling and facilitating so I had the confidence in myself to know that if I didn't know the answer right away, I would just need to let my intuition guide me. Determined to be a little more in control of how I am perceived I had intended to be low key, until my husband offered his advice.......not to be so low key that my true nature didn't shine. I needed to just be myself. He was right. I decided right then and there that I would wear my orange scarf to show my colour.
A funny thing happened on the way to the interview. When I arrived at the assigned appointment time, I was left to sit in a cavernous room situated in the middle of the second floor of an office building. Staff offices were all located around the perimeter, leaving this unused space which actually didn't feel like a room. It felt more like a really large hallway, carpeted in dirty pink, that had a boardroom table in the middle of it and a bunch of old metal filing cupboards as decor. It was wasted, wasting space. There I sat, and waited, and waited and waited. For 45 minutes, I entertained myself with some wordplay and took in the ambiance, of which there was very little. The silent inactivity was deafening. Though there were probably 40 odd offices on this floor, I didn't hear one phone ring, one keyboard click, one human voice, one photocopier doing it's thing. There was no music to this place. It seemed void of life.
Well........there was one aparitious person who passed by. She was dressed in jeans and high heels, which I always find a very weird combination. She flitted by on her way to a supply room just off this cavern. In her flurry and with her head down, she walked right into the glass partition beside the door. Maybe she thought she really was a ghost. Thump........... I looked up just at the right time to catch her rebound off the glass and her wobble as she tried to maintain her high heel composure. I reacted........and asked if she was alright, but she regained control only to slink into the supply room without acknowledging me. Did I dream that?
Finally, one of the interviewers showed up to escort me to an interogation room that at least had a window out to the real world, which was a good thing because quite honestly, I was feeling disconnected from the bigger world. Quickly I perked myself up, shook hands FIRMLY............... with eye contact, and smiling eyes..................and thought to myself......."It's Showtime!!"
Then, the questions began............all predictable............all open ended to a point where one can get all tied up in knots if one doesn't focus on linearity. I talked and they wrote. I gave examples that clarified the points I wanted to make, carefully choosing examples. They continued to write every single word I uttered..........rarely looking up, except to lob another question...........
yap, yap, yappity, yap.............serious yap, light yap, funny quippy yap, direct and to the point yap...............I yapped until my flap felt flattened. Fuck!
About halfway through the barrage, they asked me about my feelings on "wellness."I told them I was all for it. However, in my mind I was thinking........hmmmmmm I wonder if a martini in one hand and a cig in the other constitutes the beginning of a wellness evening? I wonder if I dare tell them that the term "wellness" makes my skin crawl; that for some reason it conjures up a vivid picture of a child being force fed? Hmmmmmmm.........I wonder if I tell them that wellness is a marketing term to sell a way of being from a book or some motivational tapes that in reality has to come from within.........and it takes a heck of a lot of fortitude?
I got off track.........linearity left me a wee bit I must admit...........the questions continued................my humour meter went up......
Am I willing to work nights and weekends? Am I willing to travel 2 hours each direction from my homebase to counsel people wherever I could find a quiet spot on the side of the road or in a Tim Horton's............but never in the school.............? Am I willing to make presentations to 300 people, all of whom pay union dues to cover the salary? Am I willing to justify my existance so the job remains part of the collective agreement signed by the teachers? Am I willing to offer up my firstborn?
All of a sudden, I find myself spouting off about William Glasser.........chief guru of Choice Theory and Reality Therapy. Glasser's theory highlights the concept that we have certain needs that must be met.........the amount of the need is individualized. One of them is freedom. All of a sudden, I hear myself harking that Glasser would agree that I have a "high freedom need..." In other words......................."let me blow this interview now, because I'm feeling a noose around my neck. I'm not looking to give up my whole complicated and joyful life for a job. I have a life that is full." Well, I think that's how they may have interpreted that.
It wasn't until I found myself gasping for air while rushing out into the natural sunlight heading to my van that I personally realized just how much I didn't fit. By the time I pulled in the driveway of my friend's house for a cup of tea debrief, I had decided that this job was not intended for me. I couldn't envision myself working in such a silent environment, and in a bureaucracy that was a bigger monster than the one I am presently ensconced in. Anne and I had a good laugh over some of my answers................all had been sprinkled with me........
I went into the interview with a set of expectations, and with the intention of moving on from my job working with clients who live on the periphery. I left knowing that this was not the next avenue. It wasn't time to move on. I have more to offer where I am................... I can learn much more before I venture into another galaxy.........
I have struggled in the bureaucracy I presently work in for a very long time. These past couple of months especially have been emotionally debilitating on many levels, mostly because I have been treated like I was being banished. No meetings were arranged by my new supervisor. No welcomes, no workplanning meetings, no job description. In order to deal with this surreal and downright rude situation, I kept my head down and tried to focus on my work with clients. But, I struggled.................and came home on more than one occasion in a heap of tears. Frustrated, angry, feeling invisible and unwanted.............I knew that if I made a fuss, I would be labelled the one with the problem. Normally I am the vocal one when it comes to identifying an injustice. But, I knew that any complaints from me would be perceived (and pointed out in defence) as an inability to deal with change. I had to time my feedback properly.
Today, I attended my first meeting with my new team. I hadn't been informed of the meeting ahead of time...........somehow that email missed me. But, when the agenda arrived with my name first on the list to discuss my "role" with this team.........even though I didn't know what my specific role was............I jumped on it. It was time to get over the anger. It was time to fix my situation. Take the reins.........use my voice..........rattle some cages.............BE HEARD!
I'm happy to state that I was heard.........and was welcomed by a group of really nice people. I now have an idea of what it is they are spending their days doing........and they know what I can offer to them. I also met with my supervisor's boss and opened up my heart. A few snotty kleenexes later ( he told me he can handle tears better than anger.............I told him my tears stop me from loudly telling someone to piss off ).................we had managed to come up with a great project for me to tackle in the New Year and to turn the page on a very shitty beginning. I'm excited again.
Oh.................right after my day long meetings, my phone rang. They decided to go with someone else, but they REALLY enjoyed my interview. It was a great deal of fun, he said.
I told him that I was quite comfortable with his message, that I enjoyed myself as well, and that they could catch my act next week. I'm headlining at the Kit Kat club.........
From my perspective, my interview went well. In fact it felt like night and day when I compare it to my previous foray out into the nasty land of job applications about a year and a half ago when I was shortlisted for a Community Development position with the City. Then, I overprepared so much that I was jam packed FULL of information, ideas and giddy enthusiasm that I scared the interviewers, one of which was the Deputy Chief of Police. I'm sure he doesnt scare easily, so I must've been a sight. I was wound so tight that I looked and sounded like a whirling dervish of nervous mania.
This time? I let my experience and my knowledge lead me. The position I was being interviewed for was a Teacher Counsellor........yes...............counselling teachers in 3 school districts who are having a rough go of it for whatever personal reason and facilitating professional development workshops. I was asked questions and given scenarios in the two areas I'm most comfortable discussing and doing.......counselling and facilitating so I had the confidence in myself to know that if I didn't know the answer right away, I would just need to let my intuition guide me. Determined to be a little more in control of how I am perceived I had intended to be low key, until my husband offered his advice.......not to be so low key that my true nature didn't shine. I needed to just be myself. He was right. I decided right then and there that I would wear my orange scarf to show my colour.
A funny thing happened on the way to the interview. When I arrived at the assigned appointment time, I was left to sit in a cavernous room situated in the middle of the second floor of an office building. Staff offices were all located around the perimeter, leaving this unused space which actually didn't feel like a room. It felt more like a really large hallway, carpeted in dirty pink, that had a boardroom table in the middle of it and a bunch of old metal filing cupboards as decor. It was wasted, wasting space. There I sat, and waited, and waited and waited. For 45 minutes, I entertained myself with some wordplay and took in the ambiance, of which there was very little. The silent inactivity was deafening. Though there were probably 40 odd offices on this floor, I didn't hear one phone ring, one keyboard click, one human voice, one photocopier doing it's thing. There was no music to this place. It seemed void of life.
Well........there was one aparitious person who passed by. She was dressed in jeans and high heels, which I always find a very weird combination. She flitted by on her way to a supply room just off this cavern. In her flurry and with her head down, she walked right into the glass partition beside the door. Maybe she thought she really was a ghost. Thump........... I looked up just at the right time to catch her rebound off the glass and her wobble as she tried to maintain her high heel composure. I reacted........and asked if she was alright, but she regained control only to slink into the supply room without acknowledging me. Did I dream that?
Finally, one of the interviewers showed up to escort me to an interogation room that at least had a window out to the real world, which was a good thing because quite honestly, I was feeling disconnected from the bigger world. Quickly I perked myself up, shook hands FIRMLY............... with eye contact, and smiling eyes..................and thought to myself......."It's Showtime!!"
Then, the questions began............all predictable............all open ended to a point where one can get all tied up in knots if one doesn't focus on linearity. I talked and they wrote. I gave examples that clarified the points I wanted to make, carefully choosing examples. They continued to write every single word I uttered..........rarely looking up, except to lob another question...........
yap, yap, yappity, yap.............serious yap, light yap, funny quippy yap, direct and to the point yap...............I yapped until my flap felt flattened. Fuck!
About halfway through the barrage, they asked me about my feelings on "wellness."I told them I was all for it. However, in my mind I was thinking........hmmmmmm I wonder if a martini in one hand and a cig in the other constitutes the beginning of a wellness evening? I wonder if I dare tell them that the term "wellness" makes my skin crawl; that for some reason it conjures up a vivid picture of a child being force fed? Hmmmmmmm.........I wonder if I tell them that wellness is a marketing term to sell a way of being from a book or some motivational tapes that in reality has to come from within.........and it takes a heck of a lot of fortitude?
I got off track.........linearity left me a wee bit I must admit...........the questions continued................my humour meter went up......
Am I willing to work nights and weekends? Am I willing to travel 2 hours each direction from my homebase to counsel people wherever I could find a quiet spot on the side of the road or in a Tim Horton's............but never in the school.............? Am I willing to make presentations to 300 people, all of whom pay union dues to cover the salary? Am I willing to justify my existance so the job remains part of the collective agreement signed by the teachers? Am I willing to offer up my firstborn?
All of a sudden, I find myself spouting off about William Glasser.........chief guru of Choice Theory and Reality Therapy. Glasser's theory highlights the concept that we have certain needs that must be met.........the amount of the need is individualized. One of them is freedom. All of a sudden, I hear myself harking that Glasser would agree that I have a "high freedom need..." In other words......................."let me blow this interview now, because I'm feeling a noose around my neck. I'm not looking to give up my whole complicated and joyful life for a job. I have a life that is full." Well, I think that's how they may have interpreted that.
It wasn't until I found myself gasping for air while rushing out into the natural sunlight heading to my van that I personally realized just how much I didn't fit. By the time I pulled in the driveway of my friend's house for a cup of tea debrief, I had decided that this job was not intended for me. I couldn't envision myself working in such a silent environment, and in a bureaucracy that was a bigger monster than the one I am presently ensconced in. Anne and I had a good laugh over some of my answers................all had been sprinkled with me........
I went into the interview with a set of expectations, and with the intention of moving on from my job working with clients who live on the periphery. I left knowing that this was not the next avenue. It wasn't time to move on. I have more to offer where I am................... I can learn much more before I venture into another galaxy.........
I have struggled in the bureaucracy I presently work in for a very long time. These past couple of months especially have been emotionally debilitating on many levels, mostly because I have been treated like I was being banished. No meetings were arranged by my new supervisor. No welcomes, no workplanning meetings, no job description. In order to deal with this surreal and downright rude situation, I kept my head down and tried to focus on my work with clients. But, I struggled.................and came home on more than one occasion in a heap of tears. Frustrated, angry, feeling invisible and unwanted.............I knew that if I made a fuss, I would be labelled the one with the problem. Normally I am the vocal one when it comes to identifying an injustice. But, I knew that any complaints from me would be perceived (and pointed out in defence) as an inability to deal with change. I had to time my feedback properly.
Today, I attended my first meeting with my new team. I hadn't been informed of the meeting ahead of time...........somehow that email missed me. But, when the agenda arrived with my name first on the list to discuss my "role" with this team.........even though I didn't know what my specific role was............I jumped on it. It was time to get over the anger. It was time to fix my situation. Take the reins.........use my voice..........rattle some cages.............BE HEARD!
I'm happy to state that I was heard.........and was welcomed by a group of really nice people. I now have an idea of what it is they are spending their days doing........and they know what I can offer to them. I also met with my supervisor's boss and opened up my heart. A few snotty kleenexes later ( he told me he can handle tears better than anger.............I told him my tears stop me from loudly telling someone to piss off ).................we had managed to come up with a great project for me to tackle in the New Year and to turn the page on a very shitty beginning. I'm excited again.
Oh.................right after my day long meetings, my phone rang. They decided to go with someone else, but they REALLY enjoyed my interview. It was a great deal of fun, he said.
I told him that I was quite comfortable with his message, that I enjoyed myself as well, and that they could catch my act next week. I'm headlining at the Kit Kat club.........
9 comments:
Bullet well dodged, I'd say.
Life is WAY too short to write off the eight/ten/twelve/whatever hours per day that society demands we commit to the activity called "work" if there is no chance of enjoying that time. One of the best things that ever happened to me was taking a deep breath and jumping from the lifelong security of govenrnment employment into self employment. It was terrifying - for years (literally) I'd have these moments where little voices would shriek "you're not self employed, you're UNemployed!!" - and this despite the fact that I never had slack day or less than a full client load. But we were free to create the kind of workplace and work life that we really wanted to, and it was worth it.
I don't know much about the market for your servicees in your region, but have you thought about providing service on a contract basis, as a consultant?
yes......dodged another one.
I have considered consulting, though not seriously enough. In fact, it was the path I was considering early this fall, but somehow a planned meeting with someone who would be a good mentor was postponed.
I do like the idea of self-employment and in fact would like to look at various fields, not just facilitating and counselling. The major problem is that this city is small and saturated with consultants....I would have to broaden my horizons greatly to be able to make a go of it.
I am also very interested in writing. I have a few ideas that I think would translate well into screenplays, and I have thought about pulling together a book of absurdities along the same vein as Erma Bombeck's writing..... I seem to see the world in the same way that she did. I missed an opportunity last Friday to attend a screenwriters workshop, which was being held at the same time as my interview.....I was quite disappointed, but hope another will come along.
In the meantime, things have settled here, and I am looking forward to sinking my teeth into a few good projects.
So.........who knows?
I would like to hear more about your field.
My "field". Heh. I've been trying to explain that one to my parents for years.
Not to get too long winded, but after all the usual false starts I got into media work thirty years ago - initially on the technical side as a cameraman, then editing, then directing/producing/writing. I tried to combine lucrative work on commercial projects with stuff I really cared about - basically using media to promote social change. and promoting training for community based media practitioners.
That led to involvement in the emerging northern Canadian broadcasting scene, a stretch of time living in the Arctic training Inuit producers, then a few years of doing the same kind of stuff across Canada with a wide range of Aboriginal groups. I put in three years of penal servitude with the feds before heading back out on my own.
While in the Arctic I had gotten deeply involved in the Land Claims movement and the creation of Nunavut, and was asked to help out with planning, training and policy development for the new Territory. And those areas of service - communications, training, facilitation, planning, and organizational and policy development - have been the core of our work since '93. Since then we've moved out into other markets, but we still do about a third of our work in the North and with First Nations. And I always have at least one film or video production project on the go - just because it's such fun.
Well, you DID ask. Bottom line: I unhesitatingly recommend the self-employed life, but best to do it with a small group of people you like and trust. It lets you take on bigger projects, and provides a sense of security during those crises of self-doubt.
Balbulican is right! You did dodge a bullet with that one. It's great that you are feeling a little more connected and valued where you are. You have much to offer and it is a good thing that you are finally going to be allowed to spread your wings a little. Maybe now you can begin to fit in, begin to contribute again and feel at ease in your orange shawl. I admire its beauty, the shiny, flashy orange color and the way it fits perfectly on your shoulders.
Their loss but your gain that they chose someone else, that poor bastard!
Balbulican......Very interesting background.....you have managed to pull many skill areas which you gain pleasure from together. To utilize it in a way that connected to your social values is impressive
Gee...now I want to sit down with you and talk about it all! No fair you're in another province.
Media.......writing, creating and particularly in marketing was an area my mother pursued when I was young.....more radio that video. Still, it's a fascinating field.
Recently, a friend who is a doc filmaker and I tried to pull together a proposal to film a doc on the "frontlines"........the "social firefighters" in a way. CBC/NFB were interested in the concept, but of course it didn't get past the Director of Communications with my dept. I had interest and support from the Region........but no vision from Central office. I enjoyed the planning......and may not give up on it yet. It may have to be couched as a fictional dramedy instead so we can avoid the whole confidentiality thing.
My backgroud in govt also includes training and policy development. I've been involved in service delivery, and org design stuff too and I found it fascinating. So, I do have a wide ranging foundation to build from......I just need to plan a bit more. Youre right.....talking and sharing with the right people is key. They are out there.....I just need to clarify what it is I want...
Thank you for sharing that information.
Hi Sunny..........Yes, I'm around for another swing at it. I wouldn't have changed a word of what I said in the interview. I think it's always best to be who you are and assess yourself if its the right fit......... Hopefully they found the right person to do that job. It's definately needed.......
Sounds like you handled yourself in the best of all possible ways....with humor, dignity and eloquence.
For me, every experience is a step towards learning, whether what I want turns out as I would like or differently...When one door closes, a window usually opens.
Good luck in the job search.
thanks Barbara............though possibly a little too much humour?!
Nah.....never. Life is just too darn serious sometimes.
Bravo to you for coming away from the interview knowing you want and need more than they have to offer. We seldom do that when looking around at the options, only knowing we just aren't happy where we are at. It tends to lead us into the frying pan, newly emerged from the fire.
But then, you are a pretty smart cookie... so I'd expect nothing less.
Hi Ellen.........one of the bonuses of having something else to fall back on. I've been in situations where I have felt desperate because I wasn't working etc.....it's an awful feeling. It was a bit disappointing, but honestly, I thought to myself......do I want to work in a sound proof environment that numbs the mind enough that I too would walk into a wall???
Heaven forbid!! :)
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