late afternoon reflections along the Saint John river
"We interupt your daily living to bring you this moment of awareness.........."
I don't know if I'm addicted to drama, but honest to God, it follows me like a determined puppy trying to get my attention. My colleague and I often joke on Monday mornings that the upcoming week will flow calmly like an old river..... that all will be bright in our lives away from the office. IT never happens! One phone call, text, misstep, vomiting kid and we are off and running! Our stories revolving around our connections with friends, men, family....heck even neighbours and community involvement ...the highs, lows, trials and tribulations.... the fun and the frustrations ..... seem to coincide with each others. Drama sticks to her like glue too.
We are both single Moms, working full-time. It is a strange and difficult thing to be heading up a household on one's own. Yes, I do get help, and I know she does too. We are both very grateful, but when it comes to the "end of the day" we are in charge here of our kids, our homes, our responsibilities and it can be damn scary! Juggle, juggle..... sort it out!
It's always something! There you are juggling your daily routines, and badabing! Interuptions haggle for your attention!
I know there are people in my life who are afraid to ask me...."what's new?" There are days when I dread that question. Where do I start? :)
This topic leaves me wondering what part of me seeks it out. I mean, it all can't come tumbling into my life without me attracting it can it? I'm like a lint trap for complications and extra baggage. Emotional upheavals are a daily part of my life. It seems like by the time I slip into a hot bubble bath at night, I'm both wired and exhausted. My head is FuLL of stories all woven together with uneven stitches. Though I'm learning to let go of the complications of others lives that is the core of my career in counselling, I also recognize that my automatic "go to" place in my actions is one of the "fix it fairy."
YES, I am one of those...... However, I have discovered I am not alone. There are many in my life who have used their gifts to help me fix stuff in my life this year too. Thank God.
Most of the time, there isn't a damn thing I can do about an issue that creates the drama. Some of the time I can because not only am I a fix it kind of fairy, I also seem to stir the pot..... sometimes by just asking a few questions, or offering to help when I honestly don't have the resources or the time. Then, stuff in my daily life.... the stuff I SHOULD be attending to piles up and ignored. Hmmm..... could it be that I "get my nose into things" as a means of procrastinating. Well, yes.
Maybe that's not a bad thing.
Maybe there is a shiny silver lining to the incessant moments when life gets interupted. hmmmmm............. maybe, just maybe the shake up of having to turn your focus on something else, someone else.......... an issue or a problem that needs attention promptly is when we are forced to put our guard down and just be human who is challenged, confused, pushed to the limits of what we think we can handle. The free flow of activity, discussions, interactions, problem solving are so life enhancing. In fact, it leads one more often to a place of vulnerability. It surely can humble you, which in turn broadens AND deepens our range of emotional capacity.
Interuptions can be considered as gifts. Perhaps they should even be viewed as the portal to feeling God's lovetouch of Grace?
A big honking snowstorm, with all of its travails stops the world around you, and forces you to deal with the ramifications of it as well as the silence only felt when one is away from the daily busyness.
Someone calling out for help....? To be with them.... not sorting it out, but just to be with them opens the door to sharing something monumentally moving. Your drama is my drama..... your life interuptions is mine.
Taking a risk, stepping beyond the borders of your lifebox almost always provides interuptions in our daily lives due to its unknown qualities. Add something to the mix of your day, and the journey alters. There is a feeling of awakening boosted by nervous adrenaline when you tackle something new. It's bound to provide a few new stories and a dollop of drama.
Oh yeah........ the desire to run away to a warm locale with white sand and blue surf almost always kicks in because of the overwhelming jolt while trying to juggle a few extra balls. Fears drum up from your gut..... as you wonder if you're in over your head....... or if you can handle it all emotionally. Who doesn't want to run and hide at least once a day? We are survivors though.... and emotions are simply visitors who bring messages. They leave opportunities for new reflections. Reflections leave pockets of inner strength and fresh resilience. Emotions cleanse ........ like an awareness sauna where naked vulnerability takes its cue from surrendering.
What about the interuptions where you find yourself surrounded in quiet? Like a prayer-fully moving church service? Like a day at the beach where time spreads wide open into eternity? Like the silence found in comforting another when their day has reached a peak of no return? Like an escape into the woods on snowshoes? Like an impromptu gathering around a campfire to share stories, to catch up, to help ease one another's chaotic workweek? If we didn't pursue drama and interuptions in the grind we wrongfully define as a successful life, would we EVER feel that intimate sense of mysticism in the ordinary?
Too much drama tips you over. Too many interuptions trip you up. Frankly there are days when I have two left feet and my thinking is blurred by it all. I play a huge role in attracting it to my life. This awareness is good. However, I don't have a clue how one stops being the lint trap for it. Or the desire to. The positive attributes have enhanced life for me in ways that are immeasurable, leaving me feeling a sense of whole heartedness.
Hmmmm.... Think I'll organize a party. A foolish party for April Fool's day. Now, that may be fun!
Taking a breath ...... inhaling sweet peace ..... let the day begin.
May you embrace life's interuptions as soon as you open the door to them.
You just never know......