river valley hill, view from the end of my street
One of the most important pieces of advice I was offered was to "pick the hills you fight over." In other words, assess, reassess, step back to observe the issue from a different perspective, and try to foresee the benefits and dangers of your actions. It's all about risk assessment and management. The worst thing one can do is to blindly react from full feelings. It only gets messy. The key is to avoid the emotional bursting of the seams by lowering the blood pressure so you can think straight! That way, you have a much clearer picture of cause and effect...........
Why is this important to me?
Is this an issue that clashes with my heartheld values?
Is this worth my time, effort, energy? Why? Why not?
If I don't fight for this hill, will there be long term reverberations that may impact future challenges?
Who does it impact if I don't take it on?
Who does it impact if I do take it on?
If all of my actions are my best attempt at fulfilling one of 5 needs, Survival, Love and Belonging, Empowerment/Control, Freedom, Fun.......... which one is driving me?
Its important to try to see it from the other side too? What "need" is the person whom I am in conflict with trying to fulfill? Why do they want this particular hill? Why is it important to them?
Sometimes, just by taking the time to consider whether it really is a hill you want to fight over or not, you may find a sense of resolution. Other times, you hone your intent so you can tackle the issue with a more solid gameplan. Though it doesn't guarantee success if you do decide to take on the battle, it does fill you with more conviction and confidence to take the risk.
My terrain is hilly at the moment. Oh, who am I kidding? My terrain is always frigging hilly. Whose isn't? But honestly a few of the mounds ahead of me seemed to have erupted out of nowhere. Sniper hills! Those types are probably the ones that are the most challenging and need to be surveyed the most intensely, when in fact I'd personally just like to stick a piece of dynamite in the turf and blow them right out of the way. Instead, I'll be good and take my own advice............ to chill at the bottom of the hill a bit longer and figure out the most productive tactic.
Got any hills worth fighting over in your life these days??