dark thinking

Obsessions can sometimes be healthy motivators, especially in the field of creative ingenuity. Given that the majority of us lemmings aren't that bright and wont be inventing the next "must have" that is going to shock and rock the world, I'd say that obsessions generally are significantly seen as irritating behaviours which hide personal wounds we want to keep hidden from ourselves and others. We become fixated on someone or something to a point where compulsion replaces normalcy. Rarely can we hold onto an obsession and an awareness of it at the same time. The projected shadow cloaks the door to insight.

Someone once said that we are our own worst enemies and that for the most part we need to get out of our own way in order to be able to see ourselves as we are and as others see us. But when it's a avoidance tactic used to keep us in the dark, we hold onto the actions which allow us to stay in our own way as long as we can. We rationalize things. For example..........an obsessive who is trying to avoid their own stuff may rationalize their behaviour by jusitifying........."I am doing this to help someone." Meanwhile, the person has made it perfectly clear that they don't want your help, don't want your attention.............want space. It's easier to "help" someone than help ourselves. We're weird that way.

Obsessions imprison their victims by manipulating the thought process into an anxious babble of behaviour that can't be silenced. We all suffer from some form of it sometime in our lives. It is a way to imprison our thoughts in order to avoid ourselves. It is a way, albeit not usually productive, of seeking a sense of empowering control we feel is lacking. It is a way we use to get in the way of ourselves.

William Glasser, guru of Choice theory and Reality therapy, believes we all have five basic needs in our lives. They are: Survival, Love and Belonging, Empowerment/Control, Freedom and Fun. According to Glasser, all of our behaviour, all of our actions are our best attempt at fulfilling one of our basic needs. Given that our thoughts and feelings feed one another and in turn impact our actions as well as our physiology and visa versa, this theory of his makes sense to me. My "survival" needs may not be as intense as someone elses.

My need to find a sense of love and belonging may take precedence in my life as opposed to YOUR need for freedom. they differ in intensity, but they are the same. What is different and what makes the needs look different is the colour and contour of the lens I am looking through. My perception is fed by personal events, learning, growth, my living situation, my personality.....anything and everything which has been poured into the concept of self. According to Glasser, if there is a sense of something lacking, I will do my best to fulfill it even with behaviour that is self harming.

So, how does one pull out of an obsession? How does one alleviate the ache produced by an unfulfilled need when the dark thinking permeates the spirit and chokes the light? How does one change the light bulb?