Art versus Science

Sometimes insomnia can be an opportunity to address a shadow or two.

Last evening after dinner, I returned to my office to catch up on some work that needed quiet time thinking. When I arrived, I found a note from my future Supervisor requesting (yet again) a bunch of numbers that would reflect the work that I do. He was asking for the number of clients I see, the amount of time I spend on average counselling them, the amount of time it takes for me "process" the accompanying paperwork etc......... This would be a simple task if I was in the field of making widgets, but I'm not. I'm in the field of counselling.

Not only that, the majority of the clients I work with are the most marginalized in our community. Multi-barriered, with complicated and tragic life stories, these clients live in daily crisis. Often, I'm the only one who connects with them besides their Case Manager who ensures they receive their month welfare cheque. If they are referred to me, it can be for a multitude of reasons ranging from career, personal or crisis counselling to helping them get information they need from other organizations. It could be that they are apply for disability certification and my role is to hear their stories, assess their situation and then write up their application for the Medical Board to review. How do I put numbers to that?

I had made several attempts to elaborate on the work that I contribute to the organization as a whole and for whatever reason, management just wasn't getting it. Given that I am supposed to move into a new position with a supposed list of different tasks on MONDAY, my initial reaction was one of unbottled anger.

I'm no scientist and I'm not even an MBA wannabe but it seems to me that any type of work analysis should've been done first before any decisions about moving human beings into perceived new jobs. Is that not the first lesson in Organizational Design? Whatever.......

So, as I sat steaming over the request, wondering how I would respond without sarcasm or any other form of putdown ( I do have to continue to work there for the time being), I thought of my recent blog post on anger and decided to "walk the walk," and try to transform my feelings into something more productive. Hoping the supervisor is literate (the chicken scratches he left on a torn piece of paper didn't give me any clues as to his literacy level, so I am a wee bit wary....good to have the blog to allow for sarcastic venting), I decided to answer his numbers question by also trying to paint him a picture of the clientele that I work with. A compromise of sorts.

Cognizant that I was writing to someone who sees the world in a more linear manner than I ever will.............I also recognized the fact that I needed to try to open up a dialogue that would allow for effective communication between two people who speak different languages. I don't get him, and he sure as sugar doesn't get me. I had to start changing that.

If I want respect, I must show respect........genuinely.

I let my visually driven writing speak for me. I transformed my anger into a linear story, writing about real people interactions I have been involved in this week alone as examples in order for him to understand that each client is different and each client's needs may lead to further interactions etc, OH, and I included the numbers that he wanted to see. Whether or not he will see and feel beyond the numbers ........well I gave it my best shot. More importantly for the moment (because I have a feeling that this process of learning how to communicate in each other's languge will continue throughout our boss/worker partnership) I felt better. My anger had alleviated.

So, here I sit writing in the wee hours of the morning after having an insomnia induced revelation. I just realized that the frustrations and culminations of blocked paths I have experienced as a counsellor in an organization, and the fact that I always feel like a square peg being shoved into a round hole.......... that my "role" as the perceived specialist/consultant in amongst people whose jobs are very clearly laid out and evolve basically the same every day when mine doesn't................. I'm an Artist making a living in a Scientific environment. I'm the freakish oddball person who enjoys developing deeper connections with the people we provide the service for and who would rather not read a spreadsheet full of numbers. AND to think that I thought they all were!!

It is up to me to compromise to learn to respect the gifts they bring to the table. It is the Manager's job to provide the numbers so that the Artists can carry on.

I'm not saying that the field of science is not creative.........far from it. It's just a very different way of looking at the world. It's a very different "take" on the important things in life. Both are needed in the workplace. Both sides needs to respectfully acknowledge this. Most work places must prove their worth through numbers............... I get that.

Accountability is a key factor in developing an accepted argument that a service is needed. However, statistics only tell a fraction of the story. This is the point where I always react angrily. Why don't people in Social Services of all place get the people interaction stuff? The Artists in my building and the Scientists don't trust eachother because we put the emphasis of importance on very different things.

Qualtity vs Quantity ....... Art vs. Science

As the oddball artist it looks as though I have to find a way to communicate with the number cruncher so that he is comfortable and trusting of me because right now my sense is that he thinks I'm this wacky drama queen who has dug her heels in. I may have to start with a Paint By Numbers set........and then expand the palette.

When he finally feels comfortable enough to relax when he's around me, I'll gently let him know that the world of art is a vibrant place to be.........oh and that I'm a diva.

Can I go back to bed now, please? I've learned my lesson and the shadow has left the building. Better yet............there's a sunrise to take in. It's a brand new day, fresh with no mistakes........