Speech From My Throne.

As a representative of this country, I welcome the newly elected members of the House of Commons on the occasion of the opening of the First Session of the Thirty-Ninth Parliament of Canada. Canadians have chosen change. A government that puts ordinary working people and their families first. A government that is accountable to each and every citizen of this country.

We are about to turn over a new leaf

Here in a nutshell is my proposed 5 point strategy:

• Scrap the so-called unemployment statistics and tell the truth. No where is the individual who is looking for employment but not collecting EI caught in the numbers game that Ottawa rolls out monthly. There is ongoing rampant talk from all parties indicating that there is a need to bring in more professionals from other countries when in fact, we are swimming in underemployed professionals struggling to find their niche. We need to help them first and foremost so that they can offer their expertise and energy to enriching our economy, and leading others with their integrity and fortitude.

• Help the working poor. These individuals and families caught in a paycheck to paycheck existance, who are scrambling monthly to pay bills, hoping against hope that no one in their family gets sick because they don't have medicare coverage, wondering if their energy will hold up long enough to attend to their families in the evenings after another 12 hour shift and taking home less than half their pay after deductions ARE the backbone of this vast country. They are neglected, forgotten, unseen.

• Eliminate all journalist interviewers who write in the first person. Not only is it irritating, who the hell cares about their feelings and personal perspective on the interviewee? Where did this trend come from? Who wants to know who Leah McLaren is anyways, let alone her hard hitting take on life from her penthouse view of Hazelton Lanes? Here's an idea...........bundle them all up, give them one carry on bag and embed their sorry little butts on the next space shuttle. No spa treatment kits allowed.
  

• Appoint Stompin Tom as the next poet laureate. A straight shootin', down to earth, wordsmith. We need more of these real people in our lives.
  

• Free all well mannered dogs and all children to play safely and happily in our parks and in their own backyards. Provide security and community assurance that our kids will be looked after, cared for and allowed to be kids...........to explore and romp and climb trees, and swing without scary predators and monster violence exploiting and destroying their childhoods.

Oh....... and can we arrange to ban all unfunny sitcoms on TV? As as starting point, I propose that Corner Gas be eliminated from the planet starting right NOW!