Mabel Darby

On April 14, 1912 the Titanic struck an iceberg. On the very same day, my Grandmother, Mabel Darby was born. Today would've been her 94th birthday. If she was here to celebrate, Mabel would regale us in the lore of the Titanic. Throughout her life, she continued to be fascinated by the stories, especially the people ones, that surround what is now the legendary sinking of this supposedly infallible ship.

Though she only finished Grade 8 in school, Mabel was a true lifelong learner. Always curious, and always interested she ventured out on many excursions to seek out new information. A lover of history, Mabel often took to the back roads of southern Ontario in search of interesting local lore. Many an afternoon was spent with her when I was a child touring forgotten graveyards and forested paths looking and learning.

Despite the fact that she raised two children on her own, juggling two jobs and taking in borders after my Grandfather died young, Mabel always displayed an air of optimism. She was talented and vibrant which helped her maintain a level of confidence. As well, throughout her life, she had a core group of friends which she called "the girls club" who continued to meet at least once a month until she died. These women gave each other strength during the traumatic trials and tribulations of their lives. They formed a friendship foundation that stayed true.

Mabel was kind-hearted to everyone, especially to someone in need of a kindred smile. Never shy......................you couldn't embarrass her if you tried..............she would constantly tell me stories of someone new whom she had met during her day and how interesting they were. When she was closing in on 80, Mabel decided that she wanted to tour the UK one more time. Without hesitation, she booked her flight, bought a rail pass and set out to take in the back roads. She had a few destinations in mind, places that she wanted to explore, but she left with an open ended agenda.

When she was in London, staying close to Victoria Station, she decided she wanted to befriend a two young backpackers and take them out for breakfast. She approached them as they came out of the train station with her friendly smile and began by telling them a story. She told these strangers about MY adventure when I was backpacking and was befriended by a Turkish family and looked after. She told them that she was so touched by the kindness of Sabahat and her family that she had decided to pay respect by doing the same for two other girls backpacking through Europe. So, my 80 year old Grandmother and two young backpacking girls from Australia embarked on sharing toast and tea and talk.

Mabel was the tour organizer for her local "Club 60" for years. It was her responsibility and pleasure to make all the arrangements for the day trips, excursions and "mystery tours" for all the seniors in her Club. When it was close to the time that the next trip was being posted, the members would sit in anticipation of what Mabel had planned. It always surprised her that these trips filled up within a day of posting, but surely she must've known that her love of learning, her inherent creativity and her joyful spirit allowed her to be the perfect person to provide interesting, thought provoking trips. She worked hard at this, negotiating prices, mapping things out, making reservations at hotels and restaurants along the way, but it was obvious that she loved the whole process of planning and thrived on being the one at the front of the bus leading them in a round of "Pack up Your Troubles......"

Yes, my grandmother loved to sing. Unfortunately, her voice was comparable to a ear piercing Ethel Merman. Didn't stop her though..................oh no! She was known to sing whenever and wherever she wanted, much to the embarrassment of her younger granddaughter, my sister who was painfully shy as a child. At the time when O Canada was performed before every movie in a theatre, Mabel would stand and sing loudly and proudly, while my sister turned several shades of red.

Gee....................I could sit and write forever about my grandmother. It's been 3 years since she died and I still am not used to that reality. She was an integral part of my life for 42 years. She taught me how to roller skate...........she took me to my first movie, Mary Poppins when I was 4......she visited me in Victoria when I spent a summer there after I graduated from University......she held my children and rocked them to sleep, as she had held all of her grandchildren. Her handiwork adorns my home...........as do my photos of her.

And her spirit is everywhere. It's funny, it is the first time that I ever felt a presence of someone looking down at me from Heaven.............but every once in a while, I get this calm feeling wash over me and I instinctly know that Mabel is around me.

I learned a lot of valuable lessons from my Grandmother. Three of the most important?

1. Take the time to savour a good strong cup of tea and reflect on the positives of the day.

2. Embrace who you are............warts and all. Be genuine to yourself. Enjoy your own company and the company of others.

3. Celebrate your family and your roots, always. It's important to know where you come from.

So, on this Good Friday...................I take the time to say a prayer to my Grandmother and whisper to her "Happy Birthday you unsinkable Mabel Darby. I miss you."