There are few people I’ve met in this world whom I have a tough time conversing with or at least connecting with. But, if I come across someone, I find that I’m normally dealing with an introvert with the look of judgement in his/her eyes. You know the type…….while you the extrovert is bouncing away blah blahing about this and that like a little puppy trying to please, you are struck by this unnaturally calm being uncomfortably looking at you wondering about what planet you’re from.
As the burrowing furrowing look continues, the steps to the bouncey babble routine start tripping you up. It’s like all of a sudden your feet have gone from size 8 to size 18. Before you know it, one of those big feet is firmly planted in your ever yapping gob over some insanely stupid utterance that you had no intention of uttering.
The second guessing afterthoughts kick in. Questions that lead to embarrassing revelations of how you’ve been perceived come filtering through. Usually a quick review of the impulsivity of your comments and actions indicate that you have dearly gone overboard and that it would’ve been best if you had just calmly kept your mouth shut and opinions to yourself. Instead of sharing what is being perceived by the introvert as your innermost thoughts, you should’ve paused, reflected, smiled AND WALKED AWAY.
The discomfort level is so omnipresent between two opposite personalities, the inward supposedly calm person (who often makes me wonder if they are comfortable in their own skin because they sure don’t look like it) and the outward expressively emotional person. More often than not, these two types avoid each other like the plague, because neither is willing to find a middle ground.
My extroversive personality, for the most part, is accepted and welcomed. However, there are times when it has been my Achilles heel………..just like the other external thinkers I know. Quiet contemplative staff meetings when you’re surrounded by tentative inward thinkers is not the time to act out your interpretation of a scene from the latest reality show on TV the night before. Though, it would be a huge hit for other acting wannbes…….. it just makes everyone else feel uneasy. So do suggesting group singsongs, organizing skits or impromptu speeches, or emotionally expressing your opinion even if you are right! Makes people sweat. However, if you WANT that response, then go ahead and make your day. Just know that the next day…….repercussions.
Job interviews are not the time to let your ya-yas hang out either. Balance is key, though what tips me over is when I get enthusiastic about something. If I am very interested in a particular job, for example, I find it difficult to restrain my energies in an interview setting. I’ve blown my share of interviews with expressive exuberance. And, it isn’t until the day after the interview that I realize how badly I had bombed. In fact, the last time this happened, I swear I had nailed every question and left feeling that I had the job in the bag. After some sleeping thought, I woke with a blushing face of embarrassment as I recalled the reaction on the faces of the recipients of my dramatic prose.
I wanted to crawl away and hide under a rock, knowing that I had been misunderstood …….then realizing that it was my own loud mouthed fault. Own it. Wear it on your sleeve, just like your emotions.
Too many extroverts together make a loud frustrating conversation. We need introverts. We just need to learn not to blow them away with bombastic bellowing. And, they need us. They need to learn that we may rock the boat, but we rarely tip it over. And if we do happen to flip into the water…………we can normally talk our way out of it. But a rock of a boat is much more fun than one calmly tied to the dock. Life is full of rippling adventure. You just have to have balance.
Will post more on this topic another day. I of course, have much more to convey.
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