Saturday, November 13, 2010

some is old, some is new......

It took a while to find silence again after a couple of weeks of experiencing heightened senses and creative outlets.  Usually November is a time of reflection and of settling into a routine that includes cooking pots of savoury stews, jazzy tunes with layered harmony, woolens, new mittens and baseboards emiting heat onto cold morning floors.  Usually, it is a time of craft projects, fundraisers, indoor games and old movies.  But, this fall has been radically different as we take new steps towards adjusting to the changes all around us. 

Some days, the changes are smooth.  The transitions happen without even a blink.  We used to it.  There are enough old markings along the path to guide us.  Familiarity hosts our journey.  Some days, there isn't a speck of the same old, same old and we are caught in a place whose air is filled with new sights, sounds, smells, feelings and energy we are unaccustomed to.  Our host is then Mystery, as we take tentative steps to go deeper into the woods of discovery.  Though frightening and at times it brings us to those unexpected tears of a child alone amongst the haunting trees that guard the uneven path,  we have one another to hold onto..... to talk to... to figure it out with. 

Life is one big bold step after another, with a few baby steps put in for good measure.
Risk allows us to do the puffy chested bravado thing in order to eventually find out about ourselves through our interactions with others. 
Life offers us gifts we may not even feel like  we're ready for.  No real reason known.  Just a cornucopia of encounters and events..
Life can be overwhelming too.  As much as you crave predictability, in reality we thrive on divine mystery.  This is where we generate new coping skills, where we stretch our ability to think beyond our borders, where we connect with new kindreds.  This is where we learn new emotion words... and apply them.  Emotional literacy dwells in the heart of mystery.

This afternoon, I crashed........badaboom.........into my jammies, sipping comfort tea, listening to the choral music that soothes.  I retreated into my relatively new blue room where I am surrounded by colour and light, where I can tuck under my trusty duvet resplendent in wildflowers. I slept.  Soundly.  For the first time in a long time, I checked out early.  Sometimes I do my best centering prayer in a red flannel night gown.  With my head on my favourite pillow, looking at the view out the window into the late afternoon sky and the bare branches of a pussy willow tree, I breathe. 

So much I've wanted to write about over the course of the past two weeks...... but it will come.  I just have to find the focus and the time to allow the muse to catch up to my spirit.  Tonight, I gave my spirit time to catch up to me.  Soon, the poetry and prose will flow again.  Transitions and change often quell the ability to do just just  I write this little posting, not as a piece of art, but as a way of capturing recentring my spirit and welcoming the Mystery as the host. 

More often than not, Mystery is a gracious host........ no need to worry.  Worry is a waste of energy.  It is not welcome on the voyage.  It can visit, but its not a part of the long voyage to discovery.

I have much to write about in the coming days..........just need time for my muse to catch up with my spirit, and my spirit to catch up to me.  It's all good......... my angels have told me so.


Pearl said...

It was a beautiful day to do just what you did...


Loz said...

I think we've all stressed over the times we lack the inspiration to write. I've learnt that it will come if I try not to force it.

awareness said...

Hey Pearl.... thank you for the affirmation. As much as I had a MILLION and one things to do, it just wasn't going to happen. I'm beginning to feel rested and more integrated if that makes sense.

Loz....As much as I tried not to force it, that's where I kept ending up. I have always found that this is the time of year when the writing flows. I will be patient and let the ideas and feelings simmer as long as they are needed.
thank you for understanding. :)