A Sense of Wonder.

In Anthony de Mello's book, Awareness, he introduced to me the idea that one can't really define God. We do our utmost to put words to our vision of God, to try to draw a picture but we will always fall short of capturing God's essence. The journey to understand, to see, to feel and then to realize that His essence is indefinable is a lifelong pursuit. It is indefinable, but all around us. When we have these moments of realization we are struck by a sense of wonder......by an overwhelming sense of humility.

I have to admit, I didn't quite get it until now. A year later, the light bulb went on. What I hadn't connected was how his message tied in with a sense of humility. Why? Because I had the wrong definition in my head of what humble means with respect to the Bible. Until recently, the idea of being humble wasn't something I wanted to aspire to. According to the dictionary, the definition of humble contains words like submissive, passive, non-assertive, absence of pride. To me that just completely went against all the lessons I had been taught and all the lessons I have been teaching to my children and to my clients.

Words and actions like: Express yourself! Assert yourself! Be kind and show some modesty, but be proud of your work and offer genuine accolades to your peers so that they can feel pride too. We are all equal! So, why strive to be humble?

Thank God learning is lifelong............as is our pursuit of spirituality.

Humble in the eyes of God. Humble in our realization that we are just tiny beings in a larger universe. Humble that we need help, that we need His guidance. Humbled when we feel a moment in our lives that is way bigger than us. I think I get it now.

When do these moments occur? Often we feel them when we are confronted by nature's vistas that take our breath away. Sometimes, it happens when we are in the presence of a newborn. Sometimes, it occurs when we have hit rock bottom and we are struggling with despair. Sometimes it manifests when you are surrounded by others in a church or another kind of gathering and you realize that you're one small voice added to many and that your own presence belongs. Humility comes in many colours.

When I think of the most profound times in my life when I felt humbled, I automatically return to the moment my children were born into this world. No words can really capture it completely because it is as illusive as God's essence. It was humbling, exhilarating, daunting, joyful, but more than anything it was a moment when both my husband and I felt a connection to each other so deeply, because the connection was wrapped in the awe of something bigger than just the two of us............

Yesterday, Harbour wrote his thoughts on the Divine Voice which provoked my own thinking on the sense of wonder that precipitates the feeling of humility. In it he writes: "When there are tears, laughter alongside ritual and prayer and singing then we will know that Jesus is once more in the world." Automatically, two memories of when all of those things occured, came to mind. Neither were in a church. Rather, they were both chapel services..........one in a boardroom of a hotel last spring while attending a reunion and one in the middle of a forest.

Last year, I wrote this poem to try to capture the chapel in the forest that had taken place many years ago. I used to organize the chapels at the summer camp I attended as a child and teenager. One Sunday, we decided to take the whole camp into the woods to sit within the cathedral of trees. It was a gloomy morning and I was worried that the impending rain was going to ruin the opportunity. However, the rain held off and as we all marched quietly into the forest, the clouds gave way to sun, which filtered through the trees to shine down on us. I have shared this poem with my camp kindreds and was amazed that some of them remembered this particular chapel as well...........................it was truly a moment when singing and prayer and laughter and sadness and ritual culminated............when there was a collective sense of wonder and a feeling of being humbled by the essence of God.

We can spend our days searching too deeply for it...............sometimes you just have to let it find you................

Green and Light

We walk through the autumn leaves of splendour
Reminiscing of our youthful past summers
Of green and light and a sense of wonder.
We talk quietly about the look and feel of goodness
Sharing a silence filled with harmonious assurance
That life is good
Life is good.

Sometimes lost in the spinning world
Alone in the struggle, lost in the crowd
Looking for miraculous answers, strength of conviction
Far away from nature's cathedral of splintering light, filtering rays.
Silently remiss of green and light and a sense of wonder.
Wondering, hoping that life is good.
Life is good.


A moment flickers a quiet breath
Catpuring a thought amidst life's pace
A picture frozen in time, seen through a rosy lens
Of nature's splendid colourful grace
Producing a smile, remembering the goodness
of green and light and a sense of wonder
That life is good.
Life is good.

Shadows lengthen as dark envelops the day
Red sunsets dismissed, stars glimmer so far away
Separate lives drifting, floating yet still aligned
While thoughts close in like thunder
Loudly harking, filling with light
Of green and a sense of wonder
That life is good.
Life is good.