Normally I steer clear of this blogsite if I am feeling really out of sorts. I have been trying to use this writing time prductively to comtemplate various thoughts, both old and new. I have used it to some extent as a sanctuary for figuring out my beliefs again. There have been times when I have ranted, but I have tried to be diplomatic and thoughtful or at least humourous when I have stated my opinion or described my perception of a situation or issue. Quite honestly, that is how I am for the most part. Not today. Not this week. And, it turns out, I hit my limit tonight right in the middle of the grocery store. All of a sudden, I had this urge to yell out to the Manager (if I could've found one!)..............don't fuck with me.
This day seemed to start off on a positive note, with warm colleague encounters, a couple of counselling sessions that went really well. I managed to cross off a bunch of things on my to do list that had been on the list way too long. I was feeling very good about my teaching and how positive my class went last night. I even had a couple of surprise e-mails from old friends whom I have just recently reconnected with for the first time in 20 years. Sounds great doesn't it? Sounds like a wonderfully positive day. If I had written in my blog then, I would have easily been able to write a warm fuzzy reflective piece that depicted a warm heart.
But the "dfwm" feelings have been simmering below the surface for a couple of days, so it didn't take much to swing me over to the dark side. Oh, no. In fact, it was after I read a piece of propaganda research, jam packed with interesting statistics and no indication of a multitude of variables that would have altered the study, on the negative impact childcare centres have on the emotional well-being of the child and the family, that I felt my first urge to utter "dfwm" out loud.
That got me thinking about all the things that have pissed me off this week........
The waste of time spent on planning a restructure of the Department I work for and the fact that Management, who honestly sit around in meetings revisiting the same org chart over and over again, tweaking and pissing away time while the minions keep the fires going and the business going. Why they think it matters is beyond me. If this government wants to save some money, get rid of middle management.
The attitudes of some of the staff I work with. Honestly, you'd think the money was coming out of their pockets. There are some staff who nickel and dime people, who think they have the right to talk condescendingly to clients...........why? They're not helping. But of course, since they often "terminate" the client............YES that's the word used when a case is closed...........because they believe that the client is lying about their living situation etc, management applauds their despicable behaviour. What happened to showing respect and developing a rapport with people? They should be fired.
Oh...........there has been lots of kindling to feed my boiling point...........stuff in the news, rude people, inconsideration, not being listened to, trying to get things done and it taking more time than I want to give it............the regular everyday crap. And, normally I have balance. Normally, I have the ability to slough it off and move on with a positive frame of mind.
However, it's now February and that sucks. I have the mind to chase down that gnarling groundhog tomorrow and shove his little furry head into the earth just to make sure he does not see the light of day.
February is when my energy level always slides down a slippery slope which sometimes leaves me feeling depressed and worn out. On top of that, I've hit the Perimenopausal PMS time of the month...............which is WAY more turbulent than any PMS a 25 year old feels...............I'm ripe for a confrontation. DFWM!
Then, I was told that I'm predictable, and my simmer went into a boil. What the hell does that mean? Predictability poisons creativity. Predictability is vanilla. Predictable is safe and being asleep at the wheel. Excuse me? The last thing I feel is predictable. And the last way I want to be describe as is blandly predictable.
So, don't you know what with me this week................you will not get a vanilla smile. Oh no, it will be a rainbow of obsenities emanating from a colourful and unpredictable broad who feels the urge to tell it like it is!
(Gee..............that was fun to write. IN fact, it has put a smile of my face)
This day seemed to start off on a positive note, with warm colleague encounters, a couple of counselling sessions that went really well. I managed to cross off a bunch of things on my to do list that had been on the list way too long. I was feeling very good about my teaching and how positive my class went last night. I even had a couple of surprise e-mails from old friends whom I have just recently reconnected with for the first time in 20 years. Sounds great doesn't it? Sounds like a wonderfully positive day. If I had written in my blog then, I would have easily been able to write a warm fuzzy reflective piece that depicted a warm heart.
But the "dfwm" feelings have been simmering below the surface for a couple of days, so it didn't take much to swing me over to the dark side. Oh, no. In fact, it was after I read a piece of propaganda research, jam packed with interesting statistics and no indication of a multitude of variables that would have altered the study, on the negative impact childcare centres have on the emotional well-being of the child and the family, that I felt my first urge to utter "dfwm" out loud.
That got me thinking about all the things that have pissed me off this week........
The waste of time spent on planning a restructure of the Department I work for and the fact that Management, who honestly sit around in meetings revisiting the same org chart over and over again, tweaking and pissing away time while the minions keep the fires going and the business going. Why they think it matters is beyond me. If this government wants to save some money, get rid of middle management.
The attitudes of some of the staff I work with. Honestly, you'd think the money was coming out of their pockets. There are some staff who nickel and dime people, who think they have the right to talk condescendingly to clients...........why? They're not helping. But of course, since they often "terminate" the client............YES that's the word used when a case is closed...........because they believe that the client is lying about their living situation etc, management applauds their despicable behaviour. What happened to showing respect and developing a rapport with people? They should be fired.
Oh...........there has been lots of kindling to feed my boiling point...........stuff in the news, rude people, inconsideration, not being listened to, trying to get things done and it taking more time than I want to give it............the regular everyday crap. And, normally I have balance. Normally, I have the ability to slough it off and move on with a positive frame of mind.
However, it's now February and that sucks. I have the mind to chase down that gnarling groundhog tomorrow and shove his little furry head into the earth just to make sure he does not see the light of day.
February is when my energy level always slides down a slippery slope which sometimes leaves me feeling depressed and worn out. On top of that, I've hit the Perimenopausal PMS time of the month...............which is WAY more turbulent than any PMS a 25 year old feels...............I'm ripe for a confrontation. DFWM!
Then, I was told that I'm predictable, and my simmer went into a boil. What the hell does that mean? Predictability poisons creativity. Predictability is vanilla. Predictable is safe and being asleep at the wheel. Excuse me? The last thing I feel is predictable. And the last way I want to be describe as is blandly predictable.
So, don't you know what with me this week................you will not get a vanilla smile. Oh no, it will be a rainbow of obsenities emanating from a colourful and unpredictable broad who feels the urge to tell it like it is!
(Gee..............that was fun to write. IN fact, it has put a smile of my face)
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