A blank page can be a daunting thing. It's almost like it has fangs and a drooley growl on days when the words can't escape the fingertips. A blank page stares back at you.....cursing any attempt you have at scribing something meaningful. Then again......
...........there are days when its whiteness reflects welcoming bits of scripture to support the creative process. A blank page is an invite to share, to express, to connect. Today, I'm connecting. Today, I am opening up the vessel within to allow my muse to take in the spring fresh air. Hibernation is over. It's been far too long.
Whether it was writer's block, or just time to be silent in order to absorb the stories, not writing was painful. It was like I had fired my therapist! I lost touch with a group of bloggers and readers that I had grown with and had become friends with through this medium. I tried my best to remain calm....to not freak out every time I made an attempt to publish something. Patience walked with me most of the time, and encouraged me to accept the things I could not change........ Life needed to be felt, experienced, managed, and in the moment. Life took up space. In my head. In my health. In my living room. In my travels. In my job. In others. In myself.
Interestingly, Spirit, the Holy kind, took a backseat alongside Ms. Muse. Since the writing process and my Faith journey go hand in hand and always have, this is no real surprise. When the writing dried up, my interest in spirituality spun away from the Sun.
It was benched. Not on a pew.
I feel like I'm ready again to generate new pieces. You know what else is daunting? Picking JUST one topic! So, let's start at this moment in time and then in a later post, reflect on where life's journey took me. Ready?
A couple of months ago, I made many changes in my life all in one drive along the Trans Canada highway. I haven't stopped smiling since. I took a year leave of absence from my job, to assume a multi-tasking role alongside my life partner. The stars finally aligned.
Surrounded by 300 acres of woods and fields, along the shoreline of a beautiful Ontario lake, we are learning to live and work together. It has been so easy its crazy! Everyday, we fall in love with one another all over again and laugh at how life is circular. With a few bumps. Oh, and maybe one or two potholes. You see, we were a couple in our teens and reunited in our 50's. Big wide circle..... of love and learning, of careers and community involvement, of challenges and temporary turmoils, of embracing our roles as parents (forever) and as spouses in our previous marriages, of creating separate fulfilling lives surrounded by family and friends, and of star gazing wishes.
Though most of the present tasks I am tackling are new to me......making maple syrup, helping to design a website, marketing and recruitment, driving a little tractor, cutting wood......I feel like I've "come home."
Home is where you are loved.
Home is when time immerses you in something akin to the eternal.
Home picks you up gently and sets you down by the fireplace
Home is made of pine and light, with a hint of maple.
Home..........a place where all are welcome, all are welcome......
My writing voice may have been silent for too long. My spirit, the Holy kind, may have taken a hiatus for a while.. But, I was working hard during my time on the road. Living. Breathing. Learning from those lonely days where yearning sat in the pit of my stomach. Stretching in discomfort. Seeking direction. It was worth it....the struggle. Because it brought me here, to a place that seemed to be waiting for me to find, with a man whose smile matches my own.