tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17192698.post5499002995498536920..comments2023-12-25T02:46:52.723-04:00Comments on Awareness: having faith in others and in myself...awarenesshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06098432781380754899noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17192698.post-50003542670038179402009-07-17T11:20:19.332-03:002009-07-17T11:20:19.332-03:00As you said this is a process. As we become more a...As you said this is a process. As we become more aware, we begin to better understand, accept and appreciate the process. The process is not always easy nor is it always hard, the key is to keep honing you awareness, ask the tough questions of yourself and summon the courage to cross each threshold.Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08237538988856751173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17192698.post-3426104202967597632009-07-16T21:53:07.658-03:002009-07-16T21:53:07.658-03:00Thanks for your welcome, Dana. Yeah, the Smiths a...Thanks for your welcome, Dana. Yeah, the Smiths are a bit sad, but there's plenty of room for melancholy in amongst The Proclaimers (I have Sunshine on Leith actually. It is an adorable album :)<br /><br />I agree the light is too blinding, we run away. I think of all those people in the Old Testament running away from God, Peter freaking out and saying, "Get away from me, Lord. I am a sinful man." I love the thought that the light dwells within, working its way through the dough like yeast. <br /><br />Sometimes, though, the searchlight is a good thing. What is that psalm where David says to "Search my heart". That sure feels like blinding light, burning heat, searing kiln firing. He sure takes a long time to do anything, but I guess we are the sort of clay that can only be fired in short, sharp bursts :)Suehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01122659239039900398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17192698.post-80874717838352139142009-07-16T10:34:17.326-03:002009-07-16T10:34:17.326-03:00I always try to moderate my reactions to rejection...I always try to moderate my reactions to rejection and keep the faith for as long as possible because many people whom I thought were rejecting me, actually weren't. They were just busy or distracted or even lazy. However, with those who were legitimately rejecting me I had to make the decision as to whether or not I should reject them in return. It's hard, isn't it? My first reaction is always to try and change the rejector's mind. Like anyone I don't like the finality of a premeditated rejection, but I have learned that is a part (often a necessary one) of life.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17192698.post-25674930631557254352009-07-16T10:23:38.696-03:002009-07-16T10:23:38.696-03:00YOU ARE INSIDE MY HEAD with this one! They are my...YOU ARE INSIDE MY HEAD with this one! They are my words only you say them so much more eloquently and with more meaning than I ever could.<br /><br />I know I have gotten frustrated when I haven't heard back from someone on something important when I thought I should. There was the frustration AND the rejected feeling. Both suck.<br /><br />I'm really trying not to have too many expectations with people now. I think I'm learning. Sad fact but most people see other people as a "toss away" commodity. That hurts my heart. But I'm the chick who takes 1/2 hour to catch the moth that gets in the house so I can put him outside again. I'm soft. And soft people get hurt. But I'm not going to change. I guess I'll jsut have to adapt...and get lots of Kleenex.<br /><br />PS We did dine at the same place the same day. I didn't know until after. I was there with fellow employees. J told me after you were there and described you. We still need to do that lunch thing. : )Independent Chickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11618036850488763477noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17192698.post-91438011672745950652009-07-16T10:15:52.022-03:002009-07-16T10:15:52.022-03:00You absolutely have to be in that place where you ...You absolutely have to be in that place where you are ready or it won't make a damn bit of difference nor will it work. <br /><br /><br />This was no overnight adjustment on my part. It has taken years of being disappointed and let down by people to finally go over that edge where I've realised "hey I am the ONLY one who can change this". I needed to be in control of my own experiences. I just felt so sick and tired of being at everyone's mercy and I realised I was ready to stand strong and alone in this. <br /><br /><br />Maybe one day you will do it again. Maybe you won't. Everyone has their own breaking point and some of us never reach it. I did....FINALLY. I know you will know what is right for you because you are one of the gutsiest people I've ever known. You're the best D.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17192698.post-34104634221867534402009-07-16T08:57:11.230-03:002009-07-16T08:57:11.230-03:00Gilly, what is CBT?
Happily, I am located in th...Gilly, what is CBT? <br /><br />Happily, I am located in the exact place to be validated and welcomed. My new job working at the Community College is perfect, as I feel at ease and at home here. They welcomed me with relief in their eyes (to have a counsellor on board) and the words "welcome home...!" After 17 years of doing other jobs, it was nice to return! <br />So, if I could just let go of other stuff, I will be fine. thank you.<br /><br />Gypsy....you have nailed it. I just have to get to that place where I am ready to walk away and not look back. I just don't want to yet. As you know, I did it before so I am capable. :)<br /><br />It's that take charge thing....I guess I always figure that I can feel a sense of that even if I'm doing the communicating in hopes that it will make a difference. Twisted rationalization in the middle of it all eh? Oh well.awarenesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06098432781380754899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17192698.post-9954123169802599092009-07-16T08:51:02.720-03:002009-07-16T08:51:02.720-03:00Marja...thanks. I thought I would write it in firs...Marja...thanks. I thought I would write it in first person because I do feel much of this, but now that I know what it is that niggles at me it's much less overpowering. I've been doing a lot of review reading over the past week or so on Ellis' Irrational Thoughts and Behaviour....his expertise area in psychotherapy. He used the term "stinking thinking" and also studied the difference between feelings and moods which I thought was interesting. So, that is where I'm coming from.<br /><br />I agree completely with your approach and will remember the words of Gibran. So true. As much as we want to believe we are attached to others, we must recognize the fact that they have their own wings and freedom, as we do. <br /><br />Karyne....it does display itself in many ways. It often comes out in the opposite behaviour....detachment. You have probably seen that in your work? Detachment disorder is a sad, sad situation, and one that is so difficult to help a child overcome after they have been abandoned or rejected.<br /><br />Sue...welcome! Monk is a beautiful creative friend. We "met" through blogging over 3 years ago now! Short bursts and stabs of light is how most big learning happens don't you think? I like that line. I could hear it in a song or feel it in a poem.<br />The only way we can ever consider altering our way of seeing, feeling, being is through awareness, but sometimes that awareness is frigging blinding. It's TOO much to handle...to HOT... that's why bursts and stabs are the best way to tackle it. Feeling overwhelmed rarely helps make any shift....gotta let it seep out.<br /><br />The sense of rejection and abandonment is truly universal. The reasons and depth of it is may be very different, but everyone knows how it feels to some extent. No one is immune to it. So, my dear....YOU ARE IN GOOD company! <br /><br />As for The Smith's??? HOLY! I havent listened to them in a while, but I do recall their music as pretty sad. :) Put on some old Proclaimers and dance like no one's watching!!!awarenesshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06098432781380754899noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17192698.post-16287489120214252002009-07-16T05:44:15.362-03:002009-07-16T05:44:15.362-03:00In the past 4 or 5 months I have let quite a few p...In the past 4 or 5 months I have let quite a few people go from my life where once I would have fretted and hung on and on hoping that whatever went wrong would somehow come good.<br /><br /><br />I am learning that sometimes people are just not meant to stay forever, sometimes you just have to let it go or you make yourself incredibly miserable. It's hard, it's very hard, but it can be done.<br /><br /><br />Once the decision is made, the trick is to turn away and don't look back. Just keep walking forward and whatever you do, don't look back.<br /><br /><br />The alternative? You can keep on fretting and being at the mercy of someone elses silence or you can take charge again and decide you're going to be the one who makes the decisions for yourself.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17192698.post-69153929293020421732009-07-16T05:16:48.270-03:002009-07-16T05:16:48.270-03:00Oh yes, Dana! That could have been me, until a f...Oh yes, Dana! That could have been me, until a few years back. I was a great user of the fret button, especially in my younger days. Even the last 40 or so years, I struggled with acceptance and living to another's ideal.<br /><br />CBT gave me the light bulb experience. And learning to trust God.<br /><br />Open blogs are not the place to say more. I hope and pray for your continuing journey with the light bulbs shining bright!Gillyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00322140697547406511noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17192698.post-79669937422956087522009-07-16T00:41:21.735-03:002009-07-16T00:41:21.735-03:00Hi Dana, surfed in via Urbanmonk's blog.
I ca...Hi Dana, surfed in via Urbanmonk's blog.<br /><br />I can relate to EVERYTHING HERE!!!!!!!! :)<br /><br />Do I feel the hollow? A hatful of it. I am going to go home and listen to The Smiths now.<br /><br />I too am learning to stand aside from those thoughts that feel SO REAL and SO STRONG that I keep typing in CAPITALS all the time, and tell them they are lies. It is easier then to begin to start fleshing it out, but this is the hardest thing I have ever done. I can't quite believe how strong my fear of rejection is, but it does feel to me like these sorts of things are accomplished in short bursts and stabs of light.<br /><br />It's great too to know that other people feel the same way. How bizarre, that feeling that you are the only one ...<br /><br />Thanks for this. Awesome stuffSuehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01122659239039900398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17192698.post-7082066150101379312009-07-16T00:29:30.652-03:002009-07-16T00:29:30.652-03:00i hear you...well said...it's so interesting w...i hear you...well said...it's so interesting why so many of us fear rejection and it displays itself in many forms!swilekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17899156199746163443noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17192698.post-28660189913360271382009-07-15T21:52:29.673-03:002009-07-15T21:52:29.673-03:00Very interesting subject Dana. I love reading your...Very interesting subject Dana. I love reading your posts because you can dive deeply into a subject and express it well. You say what others think and yes everyone knows the fear of rejection <br /><br />In my case If you would not respond to me i would still read your work like reading a book. That's a choice I made. Only when I get emotionally attached to someone than I feel hurt when I don't get responded too<br />That happened a lot in the past.<br />These days I try to live in the moment Not that it always works but<br />I get slowly better at it. It works like this When I have a great time with somebody and have a great laugh, wonderful conversation etc or in blog life when somebody is completely on the same line with me I fully enjoy it and than let it go. <br />I have no further expectations and don't attach myself. I even try it with my kids. When they kind of abandon me than I say the words of Kalil Gibran "Your children are not your children, they are the sons and daughters of life longing for itself"<br />It doesn't always work but taking life as it comes and than let it fly away makes me more peaceful. <br />Hope it makes sense.Marjahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17458942200244031009noreply@blogger.com